Effort vs Defiance

I was constantly told as a child, “Boy fix your face! It takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does to smile. Son get it together and get it together now!”

Now take that message and throw in a little extra “language stimulant” and that was my Dad’s message to me down to the letter! (I chose to remove the stimulating language that is primarily from the four-letter word family.)

The meaning behind my Dad’s message – that I didn’t figure out until I was a little older – was simple. He was chiding me to fix my attitude and effort in all the tasks he presented to me and in all the tasks required to finish an assignment. Whether it was in school, on a job, as a coach later in life or in the IT field I started in after graduating from college, Dad’s words never left me.

I learned as a young adult to not spend extra time looking outside my lane but rather focus on the lane I was running in. My race was always against the clock inside my own head. It was always about improving who I was as a man and not about the man next to me.

Yes, my Dad told me as a young man, “son your gonna have to be twice and sometimes three times as good as the next man in your preparation; but don’t focus too much on that. Be professional, dress the part, do the work, and do it right. Watch, it’ll work out. Watch what I tell ya. Give it some time.”

He told me the world may not see me from the outside all the time as qualified, but if:

 1- I know my work,

 2- I work my work constantly, and

 3- Focus on my work and not slack in my work

that the right people will take notice and provide the opportunity for me to be a part of their operation.

Dad applied this mantra to every single thing I did. Washing dishes, cleaning my room, doing homework, cutting the grass, and even in relationships. If something wasn’t done right around the house, he’d wake me up at 3 a.m. (after getting off one of his many jobs he worked) to complete the work. He always took notes of my conduct when he could and would have comments in private when he saw something that seemed self-serving, selfish, or didn’t appear genuine.

Dad felt that nothing in life was worth having my name on if I wasn’t going to put in the full effort. When I played sports as a child, if there was ever a day of adversity, he refused to hear complaining about it or quitting. Quitting was never an option as you hear so much today. Transferring to another university when things may have appeared difficult wasn’t an option. For the man that raised me, it was always about finishing strong, starting strong, and overcoming in the middle when something was difficult.

The scripture I leaned on as a young adult into full manhood that sums up his message to me has been:

Galatians 6:9  And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

When we take on a commitment, it’s important to remember to rebuke defiance and fix the frown, there’s more negative energy involved in that. Hang in there, its gonna be alright! Keep up the work.

Use the God character you have and remember the following:

1- I know my work

 2- I work my work constantly

 3- Focus on my work and not slack in my work